Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Sadness and Gratitude

My life is so good. I am so blessed and lucky. I smirk as I think that maybe it is partly because of being born Sagittarius and under the Lucky Planet Jupiter..... Maybe.

I'm in Oslo, Norway right now...it is one of my favourite places on the planet so far. I don't know what it is about Oslo and Norway that can bring me into peace and gratitude. My ancestors are mostly from Ireland and probably I have some Norwegian DNA via the Vikings and their adventures..... it doesn't really matter. I am deeply grateful for the opportunity to be here what ever the reason I feel what I feel here.

I've begun to consciously feel deep gratitude for many of the people that are and have been in my life. I like that feeling.

Soon I get to go back to Croatia for awhile which I have also been blessed to get to begin to know and enjoy and love. The people in both countries are quite different in many ways but both peoples are deeply genuine and loving.

No matter where i seem to go i have been given the gift of seeing and experiencing the deep humanness we all share. It doesn't matter if it is Norway or Canada, the United States or Thailand, Croatia or Denmark... people are people with mostly the very same desires and issues. They love their families and each other. They have heartache and passion and joy. They get angry at many of the same things. We all feel alone and hurt at times and we all feel loved and taken care of at times. We all have basically the same desire for a closeness with God at our core, whether we are aware of it or not and despite the country, religion or race we come from.

I have had an opportunity to have long conversations with someone who has had an opportunity to spend one on one personal time with Sri Sri Ravi Shankar... one of the worlds most revered Spiritual leaders who founded the Art of Living Foundation. She says that one way to talk about his burning vision is to see the world as one family. That when we are asked what or who we are our first answer should be "I am a Spiritual Being." and then the second answer to that should be "I am a Human Being." After that everything else is really more or less unimportant. These identifications are foundational to everything else... these as our foundations can be what unites us beyond the petty irrational fighting and conflict, both inner and outer, that we often experience in our lives.

So what does sadness have to do with all this?

I am in the middle of some acupuncture treatments with a very very good accupuncturist here in Oslo (Camilla Thoresen mobile phone 47 906 41 500 i highly recommend her.)

part of what came up from her intuitively without any verbal information from me was some unexpressed grief and sadness regarding my mother. BANG she hit the nail right on the head. When my mother died nearly 20 years ago I barely grieved.... it was very confusing to me. Even though I didn't have a super close relationship with my Mother I knew I loved her and I maybe cried for 10 minutes when I heard she died. And that was it... I was finished..... I didn't get it but i couldn't work up any more emotion than that. Am I heartless or some kind of sociopath? I thought to myself...

I still don't know what this is about or have cleared this issue yet or even know the deeper reasons why I reacted to this major loss in my life the way I did.... I will continue to explore and change this as I live my life moment to moment... I think it is key for me to deal with this to really move on in my life....

I have been floating about and literally around the world for the last 3 years.... literally without a home address. I have loved it and had the most amazing personal experiences during this time in my life.... Is it time to "settle down" a bit whatever that really means.... maybe, maybe not....

Time and time again people have seen a deeper sadness in me that never seems to go away no matter how happy I seem to be or how much fun I have. I never really understood this... I sort of believed them but, no I didn't get it. I assume at least part of that will be dealt with in the next chunk of time.

Robert Bly, poet and a major leader in the men's mytho-poetic movement of the 80's and 90's talked about men needing to go down into their grief before becoming fully emotional in a fully masculine way. Some of the old myths and ancient stories passed down over the millenia verbally say this is part of our path as men. Maybe this is what is going on for me in whatever genetic and divine timing that is correct for me.

How do I do this with Theta? I am not sure yet. I may not do it exclusively with ThetaHealing.... I know I have gone up and asked Creator to help me with this whatever that means and which ever people or tools the creator hands me to help me in the highest and best way.

I feel that often we try to use ThetaHealing and many other amazing wonderful modalities to avoid some of the experiences that can come with being human.... I know I have done this from time to time.... maybe it's okay sometimes but maybe sometimes when we do that it may not be from a motivation of possibility and taking responsibility for the way we experience the world, but rather a way to avoid some things at a cost much greater than we realize.

Maybe sadness is okay and so called negative emotions which we make metaphysically politically incorrect can be a deeply enriching part of being human.

Maybe there is a balance between continually clearing our stuff and becoming more and more light and love with living fully as a human in this human world of which can come deeply powerful and trans-formative emotional experiences that we have been told we shouldn't have or shouldn't want to have. Is it possible to have both as our experience of life?

I didn't give myself permission to fully experience my sadness when my mother passed away. I didn't give myself permission to fully experience my sadness when my marriage ended. I doubt I have ever given myself permission to fully experience my sadness or anger or frustration or grief or (insert so called negative emotion here!!) Maybe that is my loss....or not... we'll see...

So, I appear to be on this new ride of deepening emotions that i have run from most of my life. It's a bit scary i think... but I'm okay. Maybe what will happen is I will end up having deep gratitude for the sadness i have yet to fully feel. Wouldn't that be interesting....heh heh heh....

Here are a few downloads..... but before you say yes to these downloads in an automatic knee jerk kind of way like we often do every time we are offered a bunch of downloads... actually read them and clearly and deeply understand what they may mean to you if you say yes to them. Think deeply and ask your subconscious what might really happen if you choose to accept these downloads. You may not actually want these for now.

I know how and what it means and feels like to be at peace with my so called negative emotions in the highest and best way.

I know what it feels like to be fully human in the highest and best way.

I know how and what if feels like to be fully human AND fully spiritual together at the same time in the highest and best way.

(This group of downloads are for the men) I have the creator's highest defiinition of what my masculine emotions are and feel like in the highest and best way.

I know when to feel my emotions as a man in the highest and best way.

I know who to express my emotions in a fully masculine way and who it is safe to express these emotions to.

It is safe to feel and express my emotions in a masculine way with out losing love or being judged or abandoned.

I know who it is safe to feel and express my emotions to in a masculine way in front of without losing love or being judged or abandoned.

5 comments:

Erika L Soul said...

hi Steve, I found the downloads for men still applicable as I could substitute the word feminine and I found they still applied as we have a male and female side.
Sometimes in the dream state I have released old stored emotions I didn't know I had and something has assisted this I have listened to or spiritually they assist me to release it.
Even as a female you can have learnt a male response to emotions and suppressing them instead of allowing them and loving them and releasing them. I have been choosing to do this for a while now as I was very good at suppressing them or resisting them now I choose to feel them love them and let them go.
As I read this post tonite I had stuff going on in me from my night of public readings with other clairvoyants and all was good I had set up alot of good energy for myself to work in but the last reading I didn't feel good doing and left without really saying goodbye to the others, so while reading your post I allowed myself to feel the disappointment from this ending to such a good night where the readings were from the Divine and flowed and then got bummed at the end, sometimes its hard to sit with them and just allow myself to feel these feelings and then let them go, so thankyou for this , big energy clearing time now thankyou thankyou thankyou Hu Hu HU I release all energies to God now from tonite and cleanse myself in Gods infinite love , thankyou . all is God all is one all is love

To all memories I share in common with Steve's post I love you and thankyou and let them be cleansed by the Divine within. Zero void infinite.

Helô said...

Hey, Steve, it might be helpful if you lovingly dedicate some time for yourself alone. I mean, being really alone, with no talking to others and specially no giving to others, but only to yourself . Yes, it might sound a bit selfish. It isn't, though! Trust me. You're such a givig person, so, what about to give a little to your own self? Just stop everything related to others (just for a few days) and listen to what's inside of you. Whatever comes up (and it will), recognize it, accept it (because this is also part of you), then release it. Sounds simple, it's painful, but it's totally worth it!

Much Love,
Heloisa Sá (also a lucky Sagittarius, from Brazil, a very lovely country too)

Victoria said...

Hi Steve, I'd have to agree with you having more time for yourself. A time of seclusion of yourself from the world would give your enough space for you release any thoughts that you have for yourself.

I've had quite a few Thetahealing sessions and have experienced the wonders of the dreams state. It's really a great location for emotional release. During the Thetahealing process, I was able to dissect the content of my thoughts and go through my issues. The Thetahealing practitioner with me explained everything and all of it was on the spot. And Erika, thank you for your suggestion on substituting the word feminine to Steve's download for men. It was very helpful. More power to Steve and Erika's Ho'oponopono! Please keep what doing what you're doing. You've helped a lot of us emotionally which is worth more than gold.

Thomas said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Thomas said...

Hi Steve,

It's nice to know that Thetahealing plays a big role in your life and in yourself. I hear many stories about the benefits of Thetahealing that's why I'm triggered to take a crash course about it. With that, I'll be able to help other people.

Thank you for sharing your experiences. More power to you Steve!